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  • kate48301

Last week of radiation

The last couple of weeks have been rough for a number of reasons but lately I’ve struggled emotionally, I’ve been crying off and on, at the drop of a hat and while randomly talking to friends and family. All I can put it down to is, I’m coming to the end of radiation, 9 months of treatment and I’m beginning to process the enormity of what’s gone on.

I’m grateful for so much through out this process, especially the support from friends, family, community, strangers and so much more. But I’m also allowing myself to feel the ‘sh#t’ feels, the tough and confronting ones. I can be positive and grateful but still acknowledge and be honest about my emotions that pop up along the way.

I finish radiation on Friday which means I have completed 15 rounds of chemotherapy, a bilateral reduction mamoplasty, lumpectomy and node sentinel removal + 19 rounds of radiation.

In the last 9 months there’s been a lot to cope with on top of cancer, including two friends passing away, weeks of isolation and constant juggling to avoid covid. Not to mention all the mentally draining decisions, second guessing and anxiety around making the right decisions for myself and the family.

I’m still in the process of discovering and getting to know the new ‘me’. I know the confident, outgoing, independent women that I had worked so hard to become and love through my 30’s has taken a bloody big knock and it’s going to take some time to repair. I’m grateful and happy for many silver linings that a ‘cancer diagnosis’ has given me, for all the amazing new ‘cancer friends’ , my team of professionals, nurses and radiation staff that have made my life easier along the way.  I’m looking forward to, as I see it, getting a second chance to shape and build a new life, a new ‘me’ that I can be proud of.

I’m not ready to celebrate with fist pumps and parties yet, and have made  the very difficult decision to not rush off next week on our annual family ski holiday, instead choosing to rest and recuperate at home. I’m still doing 3 weekly infusions of Keytruda until middle Nov and then I can finally say I’ve made it.

Thank you for the support and help we have received from all those around us. I have made friends I haven’t met yet, but know will be friends for life and grateful for all the chats and messages that have helped navigate the ‘cancer crap’. At times I’ve felt overwhelmed, in the most heart warming way, we have been truely blessed to have the support we’ve needed to get us through the last 9 months.


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