It’s been another tough week, what I thought was going to be my easy week of chemo (paclitaxel and Keytruda) didn’t quite go according to plan.
Woke up Tuesday, unable to hear out of my left ear. Went to chemo, sat in the Cherry 🍒 Jam chair, went for a walk and was feeling good. By that night I started to feel off, lost my balance, persistent nausea and dizziness and ended up in ED on advice from my oncologist. Sam thinks it’s the worst he’s ever seen me and I didn’t feel much better. Couple of trips to the audiologist, phone calls to the gp/oncologist/ENT specialists etc I still don’t know what’s going on. I had another attack (not as severe) the next night and still have some fullness in my ear/ringing and feel a bit like I’m on a boat.
Could it be toxicity from the new chemo I added in, or chemo in general? Is this a sign my body has had enough? I’m about to complete 13/16 rounds on Tuesday, lots of people don’t make it to 16 - do I stop or carry on, yet again more decisions to make and not light hearted decisions, we’re talking about my life. It’s tough and mentally draining on top of feeling like a former shell of myself, covid restrictions, it’s all a bit blah.
There was a point this week, or a few if I’m totally honest where I thought, this is bloody beating me….until today where I realised, I’m still here and life although not how I planned it is part of the process to get to the other side where I can go from surviving to thriving.
”My current situation is NOT my final destination” - Kelly Thomas
Thank you to Kelly, a breast cancer survivor with triple negative, who I found searching Instagram for survivors of triple negative (desperate attempt to try and get out of a funk). She helped me get to this point today and made me realise that I also want to be an advocate of triple negative breast cancer and therefore started an Instagram page to help show others we can beat this shitty disease.
Feel free to follow @ tn_beatingcancer
I’ll probably end up posting more on that if you want to know and follow recent updates.
Funny Not So Funny Note
✨ My phone Face ID no longer recognises me 😆
✨ At my last chemo I was talking to the nurse about Gary and how Sylvie and I were organising a funeral for Gary (golf ball tumour) after chemo was over. Next minute one of the other nurses introduces me to Gary, sitting next to me in the chemo chair 🤦♀️. Suddenly I was the colour of a strawberry 🍓. Luckily Gary found it all rather amusing after an explanation, and I apologise to all other Gary’s out there for any future Gary jokes in the future.
COVID UPDATE
The girls have been at home for 3 weeks and done an amazing job, super proud of them and their resilienc, 2 of these weeks were not great but they still managed to get through with a smile.
Sylvia went back to school yesterday and Charlie will go back on Monday. We’re still accessing risk every day, making a call on outings/school/work etc based on risk versus mental health and where I am at with all things chemo/cancer. I feel a little more comfortable now I’m in a spot where I can stop chemo if I need to and looking forward building up my town mental health with some more friends and family time!
Happy weekend everyone and a HUGE thank your for all the support, meals, tcts and ph calls. They mean a lot 💕
Xx
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